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SINGLES AND MARRIED

Life is full of stages. And each stage has to a role to play in your life. If you’re single, listen to this.

Singlehood is a period of self-development-physically academically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially If you fail to develop these now you are still single, they’ll be difficult for you when you’re married and in most cases, you’ll regret the experience you are getting then. This applies to both males and females.

Do not rush to marriage unprepared.  Don’t allow the social media display of weddings and that of friends to make you begin to hate your single status.

It is a great show of impatience and lack of self-love to jump into marriage early and empty-handed

These three things are very important to have before going into marriage:

  • Parental consent
  • Education
  • Sustainable source of income.

Parental consent is different from parental permission Your parents may permit you to go ahead because you have impregnated her or that she’s pregnant out of wedlock. Their consent carries more blessings.

Mind what you are doing with your energy as a single right now.  This energy is there for you to use and build a solid foundation for your future family. What you fail to lay its foundation now maybe difficult for you when you get married. Actions are irreversible.

As a single, you should also build character and listen to good counsel. Character is required for your right partner to come. Stop deceiving yourself on the assertion that “God’s time is the best,” when you are low character-wise. Life itself has a way of showing you where you belong. Don’t be an obstacle to your own life. If you’re always right, if you find it difficult to say sorry when needed, if you don’t take corrections, if you’re interested only in what you can see at the moment etc, you’ve lots of self-examinations and retracing of steps.

Socialize with people. If you are not a Monk or Nun, you have no reason for not mingling with people. Discover your temperament and socialize according to your temperament. Do not imitate what others are saying and doing. You’re not the same with them. Be yourself.

One of my mentees last two years disclosed to me that the guy that was coming to marry her is stingy and does not care.Saying that he would rather send her a text than calling her, just to save his airtime. Meanwhile, I know the guy, have done many things with him and can say he’s character. Of course, he is educated and is working in a company. But he doesn’t know her girl is my mentee.

I counseled her to open up to the guy and tell him that she doesn’t like his medium of communication, after all they were in a relationship, she has the right to say what she observed that she doesn’t like.  But she said that he supposed to have known for he is the man, thus she never told him anything and the guy continues with his way of communication. But then, her attention has shifted away from him.

Before I could know what is happening, she informed me that another guy is coming her way and it is her female friend that recommended him to her. Saying that the guy in question lives in Lagos and they are from the same village. Personally, I do not know him, it’s her life, I allowed her to follow her heart desire.

To my greatest surprise this year, the landlord chased them out of the one-room apartment they’re living in here in Onitsha. Her husband is no more living in Lagos, instead in Onitsha, the same place the first guy is living in. She contacted me again, asking for my help on where to keep some of their property. She’s practically the one that is running the family. Right now,her family is living in village. Meanwhile, that first guy she rejected just paid for a flat last year and is very much ready to marry this year. I lost words to tell her, but in her heart, she is now seeing reality.

As a single, if you reject good counsel, pains and regrets will be your companions. And the scripture echoes: Your joy is your own. Your bitterness is your own. No one can share them with you Proverbs 14v10.

Humility is the awareness of our continual need for growth. No honor will come your way, if you are not humble.Your inability to express yourself when the other does what you don’t like is a show of immaturity. It is not a show of respect. You carry grudges inside and meanwhile the other does not know.

Not all males, not all females know how to behave in relationship. If you truly love him or her, teach him or her. If they fail to learn, that is when you begin to take it seriously.

This is becoming long, I pause here. Need more information? Book an appointment with me here cfranb.com.

Married couples should know that the word couple means two in one. That’s to say, a couple is seen as a single unit.

For you to succeed as a couple, your voice must be one in training your children and in approaching life’s situations.

A wife is a metaphor for all women and a husband is a metaphor for all men. That is to say, your partner has everything you need in women or in men.

All you do now is nurture what you have and you see love and beauty multiplying. Nothing weakens marriage like infidelity. Find a way to beautifying your home. Find a way to making your partner look like that person you’re admiring outside.

I went to the market last year to buy a pair of shoes from the shop I used to buy. Here, the seller said the price is 15K. When I tried to beat down the price, he said to me You’re here saying the price is expensive, do you know that one woman came here yesterday to buy the same shoes for her husband as a surprised package but she ended up buying 9 pairs of shoes for him, because of how beautiful those shoes are at 15k each? Thus, I priced no further.

Since then I was thinking about it. Though I do not know, but I know that the husband must feel highly challenged to do something more for his wife. Pour in love and pull out love, if you think there is no love in your family

You as a wife, when last did you buy a gift for your husband? As a husband, when last did you go outing with your wife. You see, if you do not add sweetness to your marriage, no one, and I mean no one will do so for you.

Mind how you respond to your partner. Control your anger. When last did you speak in high tone to your pastor? You see, if you’re not in good terms with your partner but you’re in good terms with your pastor or priest, it’s a big error

Any success you record at the expense of your family peace is error. Let this sink. Forgiveness is a gift, be generous with it in your family

I have a lot to say but the post is becoming too long.

Need more info on how to add sweetness to your family?  Book an appointment with me here cfranb.com increase in value.

 

Watch words: Do not give up if you have something to give

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